Monday, October 11, 2004

Trust, Love, and Letting go.

People are not to be trusted. It should always be one’s instinct that must prevail – the protection of one’s self, one’s survival and one’s preservation.

People are to be distrusted. They are inherently selfish and are inclined to the attainment of self-interested endeavors. They are always aimed at achieving their own goals and ambitions, towards maintaining their interests, and towards putting themselves on top, even at the expense of others.

Love does not conform itself with any set of rules. It is a spontaneous reaction to whatever situation there is. Love is a natural feeling that emanates from within. It is but an inherent reflection of what is really felt inside, no matter what the mind dictates.

Love is a fulfilling experience that completes another half of an individual, no matter what class, no matter what the social background is, no matter how things go.

Love is something, which no one could ever fool. It will always show at the right time, at the right place and moment with the right words. It goes to a place where it truly belongs.

Love hurts but any kind of stance must be taken with either confirmation or not. It is a spontaneous feeling void of control from outside forces.

The heart seems to have its own mind that the real senses could not in any instance control. The hardest thing that love brings is the moment when it has to let go and has to move on. It is a world where one could find himself alienated, alone and isolated.

Moving on, hard to accept as it is, depends upon other people. It is not possible not to use some one in order to move one, to revitalize one’s self and to forget the things one is accustomed to before.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Semester's over.

Semestral break brings a kind of relief to the agonizing pressure of the academic and university life. At the same point where it begun it has to end soon. This semester there are a lot of reasons to be thankful for and hopeful for.

I am glad that it is over because it has passed by fast as it should be. I have never, even once, enjoyed the semester that is why its ending is one of the most anticipated and hoped. I felt always pressured in maintaining my class standing and my GWA. Weird, very high school and childish, yet I gave up the fight and competition even with myself. My responses to every stimulus that would have improved my personality were dull and lethargic. I have in fact, been very resistant to change despite of my receptiveness about it. There are a lot of factors that I attribute this into like unsupportive professor and mostly family rooted. Bottom line is I was not able to handle well the opportunities that came along this semester along with the pressure where I let myself fell and decompose. Sad thing!

But then I am thankful because I passed the courses, not may be with a high degree of excellence I am expecting for myself but at least I get to pass it. Well, that is life sometimes I am up sometimes I am not. I am thankful that there exist these people who motivated me to excel and move along the horizon further. There was this professor who encouraged me to run for president of the The Political Science Forum. There was this person who pushed me to join the AB Debate. I was invited to be an officer of the AB Red Cross. There was this person who completely trusted my abilities that he included me in very extra-curricular activity. It is just so sad that I have not been very consistent and, like what I said, I have become resistant to change. I owe them due credits because I found out that there exists people who trust me and the things I can do without me fully realizing it.

And after this point in the chronicle of my life, there is no way but straight ahead. Because of this, there a plethora of things I find myself hopeful for in the coming semester. I need a reorientation of my goals in life and redirection of my life. I have to find my real happiness. It is in this light that I have to find a new school before the second semester begins.