No other place beats home. Yesterday, I flew in from Palawan and my excitement to go back in Manila was, well, justly compensated. Nothing compares to the comfort of my little bed with its soft pillows and sweet smelling linen filling up my small room. Nothing beats my white clean bathroom and its cold shower dripping over my skin, like I am bathing in a fresh river water. Nothing overcomes sleeping the whole day and waking up with sumptuously cooked dishes already set in the dining. And mostly, nothing beats the company of my family, though will never be completed, is still a place I'd always call HOME.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
conversation with ryan
With no one to talk to, feeling bored and all, I picked up my phone and looked for my college buddy’s number, Ryan. I dialed his digits and then we talked. What actually prompted me to call him was that I remembered his Friendster bulletin, and it was reason enough for me to connect with him. He was ranting about his life as a DLSU-FEU’s MBA-JD program student.
The guy was sad or shall I say feeling low about the repetitiveness of life. He’s very much experiencing what most of my college colleagues are very much in: happy one moment, only to realize something lacks in their life, though as if I don’t get a hang of it.
So there, our brief conversation went around his life. He’s really exhausted. Better put in the rat race lingo, he’s indeed burnout. Though he was growing up, spell maturity, he’s still caught up and about wanting to experience new things. He wanted a break from his routine. At age 23, he was ranting about making ends meet for his family, his 200 peso per meal expense (that’s times three excluding his 55 peso 7-11 coffee drank thrice or more or another cup at Starbucks), our friends not understanding his very hectic schedule every time they plan to meet up, his bloating physique and his thinning hair line. He’s basically caught up with so many responsibilities, all in the name of running ahead and chasing all his dreams.
Amidst this though, he finds happiness from thinking beyond himself. He thinks not only of his own future but of his family and his partner. He told me how things are making him mature, how he appreciates silence more than being so loud, and how he is driven to become so rich—like Pacquiao—for his posterity.
I was just listening, spell understanding, everything he has to say. He was like demanding for others to understand him. And that was the most I could do for him at that moment.
And when the discussion shifted to me, he asked me what in the world am I doing in Palawan when with the brains I got I could make it in Manila. I could still go to law school and pursue a high-paid job, be on top and make the best out of my life. He believes I can do it.
I believed him, too. Though I was also at the side of asking him to understand my decision, Why in the world do I have to be in Palawan? In an island totally unfamiliar to me? His question, perhaps, bugs every close to me, too. I knew I never had to explain myself, but sometimes I couldn’t help it: Bakit nga ba ako nandito?
To respond, I simply told him, “Ryan, you know ever since that I am different and I think differently.” But to my mind, I was thinking about what he is experiencing right now, his phase of looking for reasons for his existence, more than just the monetary compensation that the corporate world has to offer or any titular glory academics has to pad one’s resume. I saw it coming before anyone else, and I knew I had to choose a different path.
Not that I don’t believe in all those things. Not that I crouched in fear immediately. I just knew that there must have some other ways I could trail blaze. And when that time comes money and title will run after me. What is it to chase after those two when in the process I lose grasp of my life? I would live only once, and I would dare take the chance of charting it out the way I believe I can be happy in the process.
To each is his own. I don’t raise an eyebrow to my college friends. In fact, I am proud of them: Ryan is taking his MBA-JD program; two others, Lucky and Alden are both at the Ateneo pursuing law; Louie is teaching at a university while finishing his masters at the Ateneo; Maricris is chasing after her childhood dream to be a doctor; and Joyce is working at a law and taking her MA in Development Studies at La Salle. Who wouldn’t be proud of them?
It’s just that I came into a point in my life that I have to ask myself what really matter? I don’t want to live my life trying to be happy when I can really be happy learning what is life and living it with a purpose at the same time. After all, everything is meaningless. This, too, is meaningless, a chase after the wind.
I guess, I was just blessed with this opportunity, that not grasping it would perhaps be a life-long regret.
The guy was sad or shall I say feeling low about the repetitiveness of life. He’s very much experiencing what most of my college colleagues are very much in: happy one moment, only to realize something lacks in their life, though as if I don’t get a hang of it.
So there, our brief conversation went around his life. He’s really exhausted. Better put in the rat race lingo, he’s indeed burnout. Though he was growing up, spell maturity, he’s still caught up and about wanting to experience new things. He wanted a break from his routine. At age 23, he was ranting about making ends meet for his family, his 200 peso per meal expense (that’s times three excluding his 55 peso 7-11 coffee drank thrice or more or another cup at Starbucks), our friends not understanding his very hectic schedule every time they plan to meet up, his bloating physique and his thinning hair line. He’s basically caught up with so many responsibilities, all in the name of running ahead and chasing all his dreams.
Amidst this though, he finds happiness from thinking beyond himself. He thinks not only of his own future but of his family and his partner. He told me how things are making him mature, how he appreciates silence more than being so loud, and how he is driven to become so rich—like Pacquiao—for his posterity.
I was just listening, spell understanding, everything he has to say. He was like demanding for others to understand him. And that was the most I could do for him at that moment.
And when the discussion shifted to me, he asked me what in the world am I doing in Palawan when with the brains I got I could make it in Manila. I could still go to law school and pursue a high-paid job, be on top and make the best out of my life. He believes I can do it.
I believed him, too. Though I was also at the side of asking him to understand my decision, Why in the world do I have to be in Palawan? In an island totally unfamiliar to me? His question, perhaps, bugs every close to me, too. I knew I never had to explain myself, but sometimes I couldn’t help it: Bakit nga ba ako nandito?
To respond, I simply told him, “Ryan, you know ever since that I am different and I think differently.” But to my mind, I was thinking about what he is experiencing right now, his phase of looking for reasons for his existence, more than just the monetary compensation that the corporate world has to offer or any titular glory academics has to pad one’s resume. I saw it coming before anyone else, and I knew I had to choose a different path.
Not that I don’t believe in all those things. Not that I crouched in fear immediately. I just knew that there must have some other ways I could trail blaze. And when that time comes money and title will run after me. What is it to chase after those two when in the process I lose grasp of my life? I would live only once, and I would dare take the chance of charting it out the way I believe I can be happy in the process.
To each is his own. I don’t raise an eyebrow to my college friends. In fact, I am proud of them: Ryan is taking his MBA-JD program; two others, Lucky and Alden are both at the Ateneo pursuing law; Louie is teaching at a university while finishing his masters at the Ateneo; Maricris is chasing after her childhood dream to be a doctor; and Joyce is working at a law and taking her MA in Development Studies at La Salle. Who wouldn’t be proud of them?
It’s just that I came into a point in my life that I have to ask myself what really matter? I don’t want to live my life trying to be happy when I can really be happy learning what is life and living it with a purpose at the same time. After all, everything is meaningless. This, too, is meaningless, a chase after the wind.
I guess, I was just blessed with this opportunity, that not grasping it would perhaps be a life-long regret.
Monday, December 15, 2008
overload weekend
I couldn’t take of my creative juices, so I pushed for doing the tarpaulin for the college’s Christmas celebration. This time the celebration is with a twist. The concept is to invite less fortunate children from other schools and share with them the way we do Christmas party. We intend to give them gifts, have them for some dining, and make them enjoy fun games. The idea is to have the program set especially for them. We call it iSHARE-A-LIFE, where the I is written in small caps to symbolize humility. It’s I decentralized to become compassionate and caring about others. Through this we intend our own students to become generous to others and think less of themselves.
Here’s the tarp I conceptualized, got photographer for and laid/lain out, myself.
---
I guess I really, really miss Manila. After my work out, I went to beans and pages to satisfy my tuna turnover and chamomile tea cravings. Sadly, I just got the turnover, and settled for a blueberry tea, which isn’t bad after all.
I stayed there for like an hour, looking over the papers I planned to check. Instead of sifting through the grammars error and all, I took my phone and got myself some snapshots. Well, the lighting was obviously perfect.
Then I got my bill, thinking about going home already. Unfortunately the barista doesn’t have any change for my bill. So I waited. More snapshots. More glancing through the papers. When I can’t wait any longer, I just order an iced cold Americano topped with whipped cream.
As I walked out of the café, I imagined I got myself a coffee from starbucks and was walking through the streets of Manila, only the light was dimmer and there were no high-rise building in sight. Walking though, made my night complete.
---
I made someone terribly mad at me last Friday. Come Saturday before I worked out, I went to the flower shop and bought a bouquet of fresh roses then handed it over to her. It was the simplest yet sweetest thing I ever did for someone I made mad.
---
For this Sunday’s fourth service, I was invited to panel on the topic about gifts. Since I was an achiever according to the organizers, they invited me to do so. It was like a short interview cum testimony of my experience as a student. At first I was very hesitant, but knowing I could share some experience to other people, I nonetheless grabbed the opportunity.
The bad side was I wasn’t able to buy the dress I want to wear for it, though I didn’t look bad with what I wore. The good side was I was able to control myself from being impulsive again. After all, it wasn’t supposed to be about me.
During the interview, I was glad I was able to answer the questions well. Of course, I charged it to my experiences. It’s really easy to speak out of your own experiences and the lesson you yourself extracted from the experience. So, there I spoke straight from the heart, without failing to give honor and glory to where it is due.
I am really thankful and blessed for this opportunity. Who knows, next time I’d be the one sharing.
Here’s the tarp I conceptualized, got photographer for and laid/lain out, myself.
---
I guess I really, really miss Manila. After my work out, I went to beans and pages to satisfy my tuna turnover and chamomile tea cravings. Sadly, I just got the turnover, and settled for a blueberry tea, which isn’t bad after all.
I stayed there for like an hour, looking over the papers I planned to check. Instead of sifting through the grammars error and all, I took my phone and got myself some snapshots. Well, the lighting was obviously perfect.
Then I got my bill, thinking about going home already. Unfortunately the barista doesn’t have any change for my bill. So I waited. More snapshots. More glancing through the papers. When I can’t wait any longer, I just order an iced cold Americano topped with whipped cream.
As I walked out of the café, I imagined I got myself a coffee from starbucks and was walking through the streets of Manila, only the light was dimmer and there were no high-rise building in sight. Walking though, made my night complete.
---
I made someone terribly mad at me last Friday. Come Saturday before I worked out, I went to the flower shop and bought a bouquet of fresh roses then handed it over to her. It was the simplest yet sweetest thing I ever did for someone I made mad.
---
For this Sunday’s fourth service, I was invited to panel on the topic about gifts. Since I was an achiever according to the organizers, they invited me to do so. It was like a short interview cum testimony of my experience as a student. At first I was very hesitant, but knowing I could share some experience to other people, I nonetheless grabbed the opportunity.
The bad side was I wasn’t able to buy the dress I want to wear for it, though I didn’t look bad with what I wore. The good side was I was able to control myself from being impulsive again. After all, it wasn’t supposed to be about me.
During the interview, I was glad I was able to answer the questions well. Of course, I charged it to my experiences. It’s really easy to speak out of your own experiences and the lesson you yourself extracted from the experience. So, there I spoke straight from the heart, without failing to give honor and glory to where it is due.
I am really thankful and blessed for this opportunity. Who knows, next time I’d be the one sharing.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Yebba! They did it again.
I was impressed by my senior class’ performance in our English activity: producing a talk show. I divided the class into four groups last week and assigned them the task to create a talkshow based on the topic, “Crossroads Teenagers Face.”
Having held them by about two years now, I knew that had tendency to be passive and lax. I recall last year I tasked them to make a speech choir. And when they were about to perform, I noticed they were very, and did I say very, much ill-prepared. I burst out! I was expecting something neither really something extraordinary nor extravagant but just something they took time to sit down, study and rehearse. It was all I was after. But lo and behold: no props, no magic! I gave them all a much deserved Z-E-R-O for that activity.
And, so it wasn’t 7th heaven waiting for this day to come. I kept on reminding them and even had dedicated one day for the research at computer laboratory. I do believe in sources to substantiate any argument. I mean, there must always be a basis, isn’t it? I also have the auditorium reserved for this specific function because I want them to experience how is it to be up on stage talking and assuming other people’s chucks.
To cut this short, we had the stage set complete with lights and sounds (3 microphones and a wireless one), with laptops and LCD projector, with props and with a video camera. Only, there were no other audiences but the class.
What was exciting about this was that, people who are not used to talking suddenly talked and talked and talked. Though scripted, they still have taken effort to simulate with their character roles and to study their lines. They might miss some lines, but the hearing them speak or at least try to speak like they’re really native speakers of English was a plus point in itself.
I was really proud about how my students fared. This time around, they learned R-E-S-P-O-N-S-I-B-I-L-I-T-Y. Finally! Thank God… You are really working! Hahahaha…. Kidding! Let me just say, I am JUST a PROUD TEACHER---proud to have shared how it is not to settle for the ordinary. TG!
Having held them by about two years now, I knew that had tendency to be passive and lax. I recall last year I tasked them to make a speech choir. And when they were about to perform, I noticed they were very, and did I say very, much ill-prepared. I burst out! I was expecting something neither really something extraordinary nor extravagant but just something they took time to sit down, study and rehearse. It was all I was after. But lo and behold: no props, no magic! I gave them all a much deserved Z-E-R-O for that activity.
And, so it wasn’t 7th heaven waiting for this day to come. I kept on reminding them and even had dedicated one day for the research at computer laboratory. I do believe in sources to substantiate any argument. I mean, there must always be a basis, isn’t it? I also have the auditorium reserved for this specific function because I want them to experience how is it to be up on stage talking and assuming other people’s chucks.
To cut this short, we had the stage set complete with lights and sounds (3 microphones and a wireless one), with laptops and LCD projector, with props and with a video camera. Only, there were no other audiences but the class.
What was exciting about this was that, people who are not used to talking suddenly talked and talked and talked. Though scripted, they still have taken effort to simulate with their character roles and to study their lines. They might miss some lines, but the hearing them speak or at least try to speak like they’re really native speakers of English was a plus point in itself.
I was really proud about how my students fared. This time around, they learned R-E-S-P-O-N-S-I-B-I-L-I-T-Y. Finally! Thank God… You are really working! Hahahaha…. Kidding! Let me just say, I am JUST a PROUD TEACHER---proud to have shared how it is not to settle for the ordinary. TG!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Teacher's Day!
Yesterday was teacher's day!
And the first thing that got through me was: why am I doing this?
Apparently, it still doesn't sink in that much. So, i was in this another Hegelian struggle, perplexed yet again by lots and lots of questions. It was like, there's a battle raging between my temples. Of course, I knew the answers. This was not the type of questioning that puts me off my rail. I just love thinking and puzzling myself.
Unlike the previous years where i really get heads on with the organizers and students, like responding, "Teacher's day, come on, ewwww" or arriving late for so-called party. Thing is, i am really not moved by petty celebrations with life-sized banners "We love you teachers" sugar coated as "ka-plastikan." Students would always be one time angelic, most of the time demonic. I mean, could there anything be more shallow than this?
That is how i used to view things, until yesterday that my advisory in the student council, without my knowing but with me somehow hoping, took the capital I-N-I-T-I-A-T-I-V-E.
I told them after the short program they prepared, "if there is this one proudest teacher at this moment, it would have to be me."
I really am!
----
If you're here in puerto princesa city and have your schedule free by wednesday, Dec 17, 2008, why not see SULYAP, a locally produced short.
And the first thing that got through me was: why am I doing this?
Apparently, it still doesn't sink in that much. So, i was in this another Hegelian struggle, perplexed yet again by lots and lots of questions. It was like, there's a battle raging between my temples. Of course, I knew the answers. This was not the type of questioning that puts me off my rail. I just love thinking and puzzling myself.
Unlike the previous years where i really get heads on with the organizers and students, like responding, "Teacher's day, come on, ewwww" or arriving late for so-called party. Thing is, i am really not moved by petty celebrations with life-sized banners "We love you teachers" sugar coated as "ka-plastikan." Students would always be one time angelic, most of the time demonic. I mean, could there anything be more shallow than this?
That is how i used to view things, until yesterday that my advisory in the student council, without my knowing but with me somehow hoping, took the capital I-N-I-T-I-A-T-I-V-E.
I told them after the short program they prepared, "if there is this one proudest teacher at this moment, it would have to be me."
I really am!
----
If you're here in puerto princesa city and have your schedule free by wednesday, Dec 17, 2008, why not see SULYAP, a locally produced short.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
pambahay
paula: waw, sir first time kita nakita naka-pambahay.
me: hahaha. tao din naman ako
paula: kala ko kasi sir, hard to reach ka.
me: continued walking.
----
Ohhhh!
me: hahaha. tao din naman ako
paula: kala ko kasi sir, hard to reach ka.
me: continued walking.
----
Ohhhh!
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Mutya-tya
Had the chance to watch this year's mutya ng pilipinas Talent Night, since it was held here in Puerto Princesa. I could say what the hopefuls lack for talent or lack for preparation, they made it up as a comic relief. It's like the whole show was a treat for itself--a show in a show. It was a showcase of kwela and pakwela, with them perhaps having no intention at all to look funny... Even hilarious. Anyone who'd seen it wouldn't want it to be strictly formal and toned seriously. otherwise, it loses the magic.
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