Cellular Cruise II: Notes and Denotations

A cruise on mental repercussions


I.
Life is but fair. We undergo situations that hone us. Tests are meant to shape us. But before we are shaped, we are crashed and pulverized first so that in the end we'll stand triumphant - picking up the pieces to make us whole again, able to do what others did to us. Need not to effort for a vengeance.


II.
Mike Murdoch-make your everyday a masterpiece momentum--moving without the slightest effort. It wasn't the perfect birthday. It wasn't as if I expected nor longed for that day to come. But when everyone who knew you seemed excited about making you feel that it's your special day and that you are especial, even for that one fine day, who wouldn't be moved?

I am not big on birthdays, though I am not appalled at the site of cakes and candles, I am sick about being reminded that I would eventually grow old--in numerical terms.

It was sheer semantic that we have to embrace ageing because there seemed to be a consensus that everyone has to go 1 notch at a time in the mundane world of getting older. It was as if the biological manifestation weren't enough, we overzealous and order-freak humans even padded the process up to affirm yet another status we assume.


III.
I dropped the four year old drama of the self, doubting each perplexing reality. I embraced what I hated and questioned what I earlier marveled at. Clear to the ocean's bed, each facet I have eagerly devoured on are the nightmares that now consume me. Embittered, I rebelled against myself. Unhappy, I crucified myself with all anxieties. Clueless, I sauntered my way out of the labyrinth to no avail. I felt so STUPID.

Now that I am building on new grounds, trying to recapture what in my early days have been intimately fed to me. I zeroed in the chance that it'll be harder for me to digest the marrow as it is frustrating to sip from an empty cup. Gradually, I am reorienting my sight.The system much needing an overhaul now gets its dire needed attention.


IV.
Hours from now, we'd be back to Puerto Princesa City. The 5 days I've spent in Cebu was a reordering of perspective, reminiscing of experiences, and bonding moment. Cebu is a nice place. Found it to be an eclectic mixture of Baguio and Manila.


V.
When I look into your eyes, I want to see my image. Though my eyes are blind, my heart would pierce into your soul's sadness and solitary longings. Reaching to your bosom, love conquers lust. Until we meet again. Until your soft parched lips find its way back home to mine.

Celullar Cruise I: Five Poems

A cruise on mental repercussions

I.
What am I supposed to
do with a love i have
never found yet?

I know it's within
me, wanting to
break free,

but is always
captive to
fear.


II.
I am highlighting the moment:
Ours is a friendship not dictated by force.


III.
Tonight I am losing grip,
and I could hold on to no one
except God.

In this moment of uncertainty,
I cast my doubts aside and bank
on my faith in HIM.


IV.
DEATH-a sinister,
perhaps a nasty traitor
to the fountain of anima.

Dashing a little particle
of its fine, well-crashed feather,
it looms even to the tiniest
of holes and the deepest
of trenches.

And if only he could listen,
he'd tell you how much
he longed for those unkind
words to be spoken.

But he can't do it now,
and even before.

For who would have the guts
to ask someone to speak
what he wants to hear?
That would be demanding!

DEATH is a universal
truth, no one can fully fathom
until some one goes away.

And it will still remain,
undeniably.


V.
Ray of light enveloped
me cold,

surging, flirting through
my veins.

Second later, felt I'm in a
deep trance.

Piercing hard around
my destiny,

was a misty cold air
breathing fire.

Couldn't move. Numb, in a
deep trance.