Movie with My Girlfriends, Dry Cough and an Odd Thing.

Had a chance to go out and spend time with my high school girlfriends (Zaima, Muriel and Theresa) after quite a long time of not seeing each other. We went out to see JustFriends. I admit I missed them bad. It was weird because they were very quiet, even more than I am. So we end up saying casual hello and asking about some people we used to hangout with in the past and what each of us is up to.

Zaima would later apologize about her being silent because it felt awkward when suddenly after almost four years of not spending time together every one begins to show up again. I can’t help but wonder and instead put myself on her perspective. And though I tried hard to elicit a good conversation and transformed back to my jovial personality, I still failed.

I realized how long 4 years was and how drastic the changes were that made us felt like we’re total strangers to each other. It was as if we’re starting on a blank slate. We were suddenly disconnected from the ten years we spent our lives together.

I end up looking at time and maturity as factors why suddenly there was apprehension-a seemingly formed wall that barricaded us. Four years of separation denied us to spend quality times together like we used to. In that span of time we have formed our own individual niche, built different goals, and thrived on divergent paths. Alongside with time, we are close to getting mature as vested by the complications of life we have gone through individually. Dealing with varying struggles and problems-far complicated during our fledgling years-protracted even more those four years. Maturity took us away from seeing the world as playground, where we frolic around freely without guilt or worry of what tomorrow shall bring.

Nonetheless, there was some thing to start from again. We could always go back to those years we’ve spent together as a common ground.

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For four nights now, I have been suffering from severe dry cough, colds and headache. Each hurts so badly that I fear of falling asleep. Although it is the mind that controls the bodily functions, commands each organ what to do, it is not at all omnipotent. Each organ can rebel against the mind; matter can sometimes overpower it. And when it happens, the mind would recognize no other sensation but pain-debilitating, hurting and consuming.

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There is some odd thing that clandestinely creeps under my skin right now. And I don’t like it. I have a weird feeling that I have been evading from this thing from the very beginning. Perhaps, I was. And if so, it’s because I don’t have any other choice but to succumb to such reservation. I know that it’s not right and the probability of it turning into reality is meager. Yet, like the angel of the darkness, it lures me with beautiful but empty promises. So empty that it tempts me to fall even more.