I have been teaching for almost three weeks by now; I can't rub off my shoulders the eternally bogging question "Am I really doing this?" or better yet, "Am I destined to do this?".
The first question reveals a very obvious answer. I don't even need a pinch on my gradually darkening arms to bring me into a jolt toward reality. Yes I am teaching; and slowly, I am learning and unlearning century-old beliefs and guises of such. Here I have contended with previous facts and myths. Interestingly, some myths were truthful than the facts.
The second question is more of a pensive reflection than a wake-up call; funny though, it's actually giving me goosebumps. Who would have thought that something I really didn't like doing will be included in my roster of, err, relevant experience. For now though, this teaching vocation wasn't frustrating at all; well, neither it is fulfilling just yet. Yes, it's just a passing of time - a mere glide in a dense glob of snow. I don't even know if I'm gonna last. But when I see the faces of the students and check them in awe, I am always struck with a handful of question, "Did they get what I say?" or "Did I make sense?" or "Was I effective in trying to, o well, educate them (for whatever that means)".
Well, anyway, to say that this is my destiny is far too early. I am just like anyone else who, unfortunately, had to start it all over again. It is an imperative process for someone like me who's not born lording over whims and caprices. In fact, I was born with limited resources to even think of initiating a humanitarian mission. But, that seems to be in my heart. And they say, what's in you heart will flow on your hands. Superhero complex? Nah, I don't think so. Boredom? Hmm, perfectly suitable. But honestly, I don't know. And I am just taking each moment as an object of my affection.
A Preparation stage? Err, for what?
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