"What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger"
-Friedrich Nietzsche
A stab with a knife is more tolerable than a loved one's intentional (or unintentional) hurting. The pain it causes exceeds the boundary of emotions; the physical gets terminally ruined.
After my mom's parting, after my rethinking of what to do with this effing life, after undergoing a depressive state, I wasn't ready to find out that another revelation would blast me to bleed-profusely.
I would have ended it instantaneously; but I was so masochistic to do so. I savored its venom, even dried the fang.
And in the process of sticking with it, I started to get a grasp of reality:
That second chances are imaginary attempts to recover what was not originally there.
That if one could hurt himself, other people can even surpass in greater height that self-inflicted pain.
That holding on to some one, whatever the connection may be, is like waiting for a rain in the midst of drought. It's empty. It's vain; and,
That I take pleasure in being hurt, even bliss in hurting myself more.
And if this is my last chance of coping, why not take the risk?
Hurt me more...
4 comments:
what happened?
jan, i am quite worried bout you..is this about love..ahehe..patay tayo jan,nahirap kalabanin ang puso..(tama ba ko?)or nag aassume lang..hehe..don't worry jan..YOU WILL get through this..i love you friend
nyaiks!
you know what, honestly, hindi ko napansin un first line of your entry until now when I revisited your site. k2lagay ko lang ksi nyan as shoutout, since someone just told me that. hindi po ako nagpla2giarize (if in case it's an original idea. [sana hinde])! ahehe.. labshu jan!
From the looks of it John, you are in for a long haul. But your strength shows through here, so hang on there, buddy, life is too short to even make it a lot shorter than it is already. Besides, lonely people are dangerous, because they know they can survive. I think I got it from a movie. Cheerio, dude! Stay gorgeous. Look, you only have to write them sadness off through your highly-charged blog. If you wanna talk, just remember these digits: 0918.4996807. Talk to you later. :)
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