ramblings of a feel-like teacher

Dang! I was up the whole night, and here's what I've got myself into:

11/3/2008

There are times that I go on parading as if i was a demi-god before my students. I am flawless and near to perfection.

When I talk, it is as if I know what I am talking about. It is as if every word that flows out of my mouth cannot be void of wisdom. Sometimes, what I say becomes rules and they do not question. Sometimes, what I do not say, they simply do not notice.

Most of the time, I talk with arrogance. I talk as if what I say are profound truths that each of them has to subscribe to. But in effect, I do not know if they dig into their brains the truth or the lie in what I speak.

It is tiring. It is tiring to assume I know. But in each instance that I speak as if I know, I learn.

I learn that I am not perfect and that I can be humble to correct infront of my class, my errors

I learn that what I speak, I try to filter because I understand that the people will hear have the propensity to listen and perhaps learn from what I have to say.

I learn that what I share is life as I teach literature-a subject that teachers more than numbers or words but of kaleidoscope to view life.

I learn that I do not have control over the entire class's mood to listen, but somehow, crossing into thin air and into their brains some teaching that they may find relevant to apply in their life.

I learn to unlearn each time I step inside the classroom.

I learn that walking inside the classroom is always a humbling experience, because the moment you step inside the class, you do not own yourself but the class owns you.

I learn that before the class, you must speak because whatever you say or not, the entire room will listen.

I learn that in order to get the students' attention, which spans for a short time, you have to make them laugh.

I learn to embrace a calling far greater than monetary compensation, because making time to do something I would not otherwise do, entails sacrifice.

I learn that this sacrifice will be worth it, because inside the classroom I help build lives, I help lay the foundation of the future.

I learn that if only each young people will sacrifice a moment of their time, of their youthful vigor to teach what they have learned, it can create an impact to the future of this nation.

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An educator hence is an artist, the idea is already there, the artist only tries to bring it out and build upon that idea.
Only, educators build upon destiny to destiny.

An educator is also an actor. He or she has to struggle internally and set aside some values in order to present a better holistic one. Only, the script is spontaneous, the stage is life and the story never ends.

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How I got here, I do not know. I certainly believe it is part of a grand, majestic plan in my quest to answer the eternal question of living a sensible, rather than miserable, life.

Will I stay for long, I do not know still. But for as long as I have the burden, I will keep it. Because, if there will be something I will look forward to in the future when I look back to this day, it will have to be, the opportunity to inspire other people---to be different.

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And for as long as I have this inkling to keep, I would go on parading as if I am a demi-God, trying to spur a change into the little sphere I have found myself blessed with.